I will never use a ballpoint pen...

June 24, 2017 1 Comment

I will never use a ballpoint pen...

Everyone should have a "Never List". If you don't know what that is, a "Never List" is a list of things you will, for completely irrational reasons, NEVER see, drink, eat, wear, visit etc.  If you don't have one of these lists you're even weirder. Your "Never List" should be the main thing you and your friends talk about. Literally half the time you're together.  If you don't argue with your buddy once a month because he drops that he thinks we faked the moon landing, y'all aren't talking about important enough stuff. 

Don't be normal. Embrace your nevers. I will go first. I will never....
  1. Watch Lord of the Rings. YOU'VE HYPED IT UP TOO MUCH NERDS. 
  2. Eat NY Strip
  3. Use a ballpoint pen 
  4. Write cursive. WHO AM I MARK TWAIN?
  5. Wear jeans. THERE IS NO WORMHOLE IN THE GALAXY WHERE DENIM IS MORE COMFORTABLE THAN COTTON. 
  6. Watch Lost
  7. Visit any country in South America. 
  8. Drink craft beer. BEER SHOULD BE COLD AND YELLOW. THAT'S IT. 
  9. Use a Samsung phone
  10. Leave "Sent from my..." on any iPhone or iPad I own. WHO WRITES EMAILS ON A COMPUTER?
  11. Subscribe to Hulu
  12. Change my oil earlier than 15,000 miles. 
  13. Drink bottled water. BIGGEST HOAX OF ALL TIME. WATER IS FREE OUT OF THE TAP DUMMIES. 
  14. Own an automatic transmission car. IF I DRIVE AN AUTOMATIC I WILL TEXT EVEN MORE. 
  15. Believe that Chicago Deep Dish pizza isn't just a huge joke. IT'S PIZZA CAKE. NO ONE COULD POSSIBLY ENJOY THAT. 
  16. Own a single piece of Under Armor clothing
  17. Play fantasy football after 2008. 👀
  18. Stand in line at a Post Office.  JUST THROW MY PACKAGES AWAY. 
  19. Have a fake Christmas tree. WHY DON'T YOU JUST DRAW A PICTURE OF A TREE AND HANG THAT ON THE MANTLE. 
  20. Recycle. A 747 BURNS 1 GALLON OF FUEL EVERY SECOND. EVERY. SECOND. COUGHING INTO THE ATMOSPHERE LIKE A STEAMBOAT.
So there you have it.  What are your nevers?  #NeverHigher people.  If you can dream it you can never it.
 -Will (Director of Nevering)



1 Response

Gina Gillson
Gina Gillson

June 24, 2017

I will never watch Titanic. I made this this far in life and I know the ending so I just prefer to keep those precious hours.

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